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RESOURCE
E
XPERIENCE
13: C
HOOSING
AND
U
SING
M
ENTORS
E
FFECTIVELY
394
L
EARNING
TO
L
EARN
: B
ECOMING
A
S
ELF
-G
ROWER
They agreed to meet every two weeks to talk about and assess Sandra’s progress. Joan also suggested that
Sandra contact the veteran’s counselor and potentially consider attending one of the campus support groups
for veterans.
As Joan explained, even though Sandra was struggling in some ways, she was also a strongly performing
student with a solid and supportive home life.
“Your challenges are very real, and they are things you must deal with,” she said, “But you’re also in a
position to reach out to share some of your strength with some others who are struggling just to get to where
you are. I think they might benefit from contact with you.”
Three months later, as Joan and Sandra sat in a cafe where they’d met for coffee and pastries, Joan remarked
that of every other piece of evidence for Sandra’s growth over the last few months, the one that most pleased
her was that Sandra tended to laugh and smile more easily.
“Look at yourself,” said Joan. “You’re smiling. You smile a lot more these days. Have you noticed that?”
Sandra’s smile grew larger.
“Yeah, I have. My niece even commented on it last week; she said, ‘Sanny is happy now.’” Sandra felt
herself choking up just a bit. “I honestly hadn’t realized how much my frustration with myself was affecting
my mood and the people around me. I just thought that I was focused and a serious student. But I only ever
really took note of where I failed, and I felt a half a step from disaster, constantly.”
Sandra sipped her coffee.
“I still think about what I need to do, the distance between where I am and where I would like to be, but
when I catch myself doing that, I also stop and think about where I am now compared to where I was a year
ago. When I do that, I almost can’t help but smile. I’ve come a long way, I think.”
Joan beamed.
“Yes, you have. In just the last three months, you’ve learned to appreciate your own
growth. And I think your stress level, though still high, is a lot lower than where it was.”
Sandra nodded.
“You’re right, it is. I’m still busy, and I still have a long way to go. I think we all do if
we’re intent on getting to the top of whatever mountain we’ve set our sights on, but yeah,
‘Sanny is happy now.’”
Joan and Sandra continued to meet though the remainder of the year, continuing the
assessment of Sandra’s progress in meeting the goals they’d agreed on. Sandra had become
the coordinator for the Campus Vets Brown-Bag Lunch Meetings on Fridays and had had
a very positive impact on several of the vets there, even helping a couple of individuals
identify and find mentors to help with some of their challenges.
At the end of the year, they met for lunch at Sandra’s favorite restaurant. They talked about
the classes Sandra would be taking the next term and the monograph Joan was working
on. Sandra commented that she was considering graduate school “out on the coast.” Joan
was thrilled.
She said, “Sandra, I’m incredibly proud of you. You are not only a top-notch student
but have committed to your own self-growth, investing in your own future, health, and
happiness. You will go far, and it will be my privilege to watch you succeed. I have few,
if any, worries about you and just want you to know that your letter of recommendation is
ready, any time you want it.”